Stories Your Brain Tells You

Your brain’s job is to prove you right.  This means it is constantly looking for evidence to support your beliefs.  Have you ever taken the time to listen to the thoughts that are going around in your head?  Many of us don’t even realize that the majority of our thoughts are scary and negative.  Sometimes they are just downright “crazy” and if everyone had a loudspeaker attached to the side of their head broadcasting their thoughts out to the rest of the world, the majority of us would be locked up in an asylum!

Take a moment and really listen to what you are saying to yourself.  Most people have whole conversations with themselves.  Do you tell yourself scary and negative stories about yourself, other people and the world around you or do you tell yourself positive, uplifting stories about the many great opportunities that come your way for making money, meeting new, interesting people, having great relationships, staying healthy, safe and happy? 

Limiting Beliefs 

A limiting belief is a false belief that a person acquires as a result of making an incorrect conclusion about something in life. For example, a person could acquire a limiting belief about his ability to succeed or that he is not good enough or smart enough.  Limiting beliefs are those beliefs that hold us back in some way, they constrain us.

Listen to your story that you tell yourself and ask, “Is that really true?”  “Is that helpful to my life or my goals?”  If it’s not, then say, “What is more true, what is more helpful?”  Make up a better story that you want to be true about yourself.  Make up a better story that you want to be true for your life.  You get to decide what the story means. If you tried a new business opportunity but you see it as failing, you may see yourself as “a failure” instead of a more helpful or true statement like, “that was a really good learning experience that I will use in my next business opportunity”.  

Many things happen in life that we have no control over, but it is your decision on what you make that circumstance mean.  You have a choice on whether the narrative is positive or negative.  That’s why two people can go through the same traumatic, unfair experience and come through the other side with very different “stories” of what happened.  One of those people could look at it as the worst thing that ever happened in their life and the other person could pull some other type of meaning out of it like it changed their life in a very positive way and they somehow found the good in it. 

“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.” – Louise Hay

The beliefs you have about your life, people and the world around you shape how you see the world.  If you have a limiting belief that scary things happen when you travel and there’s always something that goes wrong, then your brain will be looking for all the evidence to prove you right.  I know two people who went on the same trip, at the same time, and stayed with each other at the same place.  When I spoke with the first person about how the trip went, it sounded like everything that could go wrong went wrong.  The luggage got left behind, it got rained on, so all the clothes were wet.  Everyone got sunburned. The weather was terrible, etc., etc.  When I spoke to the second person who went on that trip, she told me about all the cool hikes and walks they went on, all the beautiful scenery, flowers and birds that they got to see and all the great food they ate, restaurants they chose and the neat stores in which they shopped. 

When I got off the phone, I was confused!  It sounded like two completely different trips, but I knew that they had both been at the same place at the same time and were there with each other!  Obviously, the mindset of these two people was completely different.  One had a more positive mindset, belief, and outlook.  She noticed the good things that were there to partake in during the trip and she had positive memories of that trip.  The other had a negative mindset and belief so her brain found all the negative evidence to focus on to prove she was right about all the bad things that went on during this same trip.

These thoughts and beliefs impact your life.  Many things that happen are subjective and open for opinion.  Even if it is factual, we still have a choice of what to take out of it.  Your perspective helps shape your thoughts.  Put your thoughts into perspective.  Are you making way too big a deal out of something minor that happens to everyone, like getting a sunburn, or having it rain during part of your vacation?  Your brain isn’t always the easiest thing to reprogram.  It takes time.  Reprogramming it will go faster if you give it evidence to focus on.  In the above trip example, if the “negative” person wanted to work on reprogramming her brain in what she believed about that trip, she could talk to the other people on that same trip and listen for all the good and fun events that occurred. This would be one way to help change the focus from negative to positive.  Then her brain could latch onto the new good memories of that trip.

Many Circumstances are Beyond Our Control

In many cases, we don’t get to decide what happens to us.  Many situations occur outside of our control.  For example, we don’t have control over what goes on behind the scenes in politics but we do have control over how we are going to think about our lawmakers and how we are going to live our lives within the constraints of what is decided by them.  I have heard many people complain about wanting to move out of the U.S.  Their opinions are so negative about what is going on in the political arena and they have themselves so worked up that they let their minds look for all the horrible and negative situations.  Yes, of course it is not perfect, nothing is and hasn’t been for hundreds of years!  I like to put it into perspective.  I’m very thankful that I live in the U.S.  I’m very thankful that I don’t live in Ethiopia in the desert where no food grows or there is no water.  I’m so thankful that I don’t live where there is a constant war going on.  I’m thankful that we still have many opportunities for growth.  Many opportunities for businesses from home or interesting jobs.  One of my favorites:  we have many opportunities to learn more about just about any subject or anything we’d like to be able to do by watching YouTube videos!!

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be.  If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it.  On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Be diligent and cognitively aware of noticing your thoughts.  It takes time to change the habit of thinking differently.  It’s not going to happen in one day.  Keep at it.  The first step is to become aware of your thoughts.  You can’t change something that you are not even aware is happening automatically.  Be kind and generous with yourself while learning new thinking habits.  If you keep at it even if you have setbacks, you will make positive progress that you will notice next month!  Surround yourself with others who have positive beliefs and thoughts, and be very particular about whose beliefs and thoughts you let into your brain (i.e. don’t let your brain be constantly inundated by negative news!)

Share with me some of your beliefs that you think are limiting you and how you can change that thought into something that will better serve you, and one that will make a “better story” for your life.